Wednesday, 15 August 2012

9. Ten ways to look terrible

I've recently been working on a good post. I've been talking to some people about what a doozy it's going to be. Unfortunately, it's not quite ready as I've had a change of mind on its presentation. If all goes well it'll be much better than a doozy.

Now, onto this week's post - ten ways to look terrible. After jotting it down, it looks like a Hall of Shame of trends from the last twenty years. This one is for the grandpas, douchebags and insecure nerds whose mothers still buy their clothes for them. 

1) Wearing sunglasses and hats indoors

Though less obvious than the other entrants on this list, it's just as relevant. Wearing sunglasses and hats indoors is rude and impolite. It shows that you don't have manners or basic courtesy. Also, showing off your sunglasses by over-wearing them is style-crampingly embarrassing.

2) Socks and sandals

I think this one is self explanatory. Regardless, I cringe every time I see this.

3) Ugg Boots

Ugg boots shouldn't be worn anywhere but home. Not even going down to the servo. Doesn't matter if you have the expensive "real" Ugg branded boots. Put on a pair of thongs, at the very least. I spoke with my boss about this today, and he abides by "Letterbox Protocol". Letterbox Protocol dictates that Ugg boots shall not be worn beyond the limits of your letterbox.

4) Trainers with formal wear

If you're going to suit up, go all the way. Don't try to be edgy or cool by wearing your raggy old Chucks instead of a pair of a proper shoes. There was a time and place for it, puberty and your school formal. 

Same goes with cardboard cars.

5) Popped collars

Popping your collar is an extremely efficient way to tell the world that you're a douchebag. You just lift (or pop) it up and voila

6) Long, dark socks with shorts

You have a choice when you wear shorts. Either wear short white socks, or none at all. Anything else often ends in disaster. My expert covert photography shows this:

Our friend's sense of style: disabled.

7) Three-quarter pants

These are just an abomination. You either wear shorts or pants. There is no middle-ground. My expert covert photography shows this:

I feel like I'm repeating myself here.

8) Beanies in Summer

Last summer, there were plenty of teenagers wearing beanies, with their fringes sticking out. It's incredible how people sacrifice comfort for the purpose of looking like an idiot.

9) Double denim

It's not the 80's any more, and it hasn't been for a long time. Please, do it for the children. Even if they wear beanies in summer and get tattoos in silly places.

10) White formal leather shoes

I feel so embarrassed for guys who wear these monstrosities. These are usually accompanied with a crappy shirt and a skinny black tie. The only time these shoes are acceptable is if you're in a Backstreet Boys film clip. 

When asked if they regret the shoes - they unamiously responded "YEAAAAAAH!"


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